Manolo Has Pizzazz
Episode 59 of AEW Dark featured Lance Archer threatening Eddie Kingston, a new duo becoming All Elite, and Sammy Guevara sending a message to Matt Hardy.
The most important moment of the broadcast came when Lance Archer beat up four men while Jake Roberts narrated.
Archer had a message for Eddie Kingston and Jon Moxley. He hopes Kingston wins the I Quit match at Full Gear, so he can rip Kingston’s arms off and beat him with the bloody stumps. No matter who who wins at Full Gear, Archer will be coming to rage for the AEW World Championship.
Here’s the Dark lineup with ratings (watch, solid, okay, pass) on which matches are worth your time toward Dynamite:
- Darby Allin vs BSHP King (okay)
- Leyla Hirsch & Elayna Black vs Red Velvet & Brandi Rhodes (okay)
- Jurassic Express vs Danny Limelight & KC Navarro (okay)
- Frankie Kazarian vs Ryzin (okay)
- Dave Dutra vs Ricky Starks (okay)
- Sean Maluta & Alex Chamberlain vs Griff Garrison & Brian Pillman Jr. (okay)
- Aaron Solow & Angel Fashion vs Max Caster & Anthony Bowens (okay)
- 5 vs VSK (okay)
- Butcher & Blade vs Jersey Muscle (okay)
- D3 vs. Will Hobbs (okay)
- Evil Uno & Stu Grayson vs Baron Black & Nick Comoroto (okay)
- John Silver, Colt Cabana, & 10 vs Shawn Dean, Fuego Del Sol, & Cezar Bononi (okay)
- Lei’d Tapa vs KiLynn King (okay)
- Chaos Project vs Private Party (okay)
- Sammy Guevara vs Lee Johnson (okay)
No standout matches this week. If you like one of the wrestlers, then you’ll probably enjoy the bout. Chaos Project vs Private Party was the most competitive. Lei’d Tapa vs KiLynn King was the most interesting for me, since I had no idea who would win. John Silver’s trios bout was the most fun due to his wacky personality. If I had to pick only one to watch, I think I’d roll with Ricky Starks. He’s always cool.
Watch the show here.
Excalibur teamed with Taz to call the action. Anthony Ogogo and Ricky Starks joined commentary throughout the show. Justin Roberts was the ring announcer.
Darby Allin defeated BSHP King. Allin opened with a suicide torpedo. King was stronger, so Allin worked the knee. Allin connected on a sunset flip slam. King kicked out of the pin. He was still dazed with a leg in the air, so Allin snatched his limb for a figure-four roll-up to win.
Red Velvet & Brandi Rhodes defeated Leyla Hirsch & Elayna Black. Dustin Rhodes was ringside stirring it up. Big Bran Bran and Lil Cupcake started with fire until Hirsch flattened Velvet. Brandi got the hot tag. That led to a spear on Hirsch and a pump kick to pin Black.
Jurassic Express defeated Danny Limelight & KC Navarro. Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus represented Jurassic Express. Marko Stunt was ringside. Luchasaurus dominated both opponents early and again on a hot tag. Limelight flipped out of a chokeslam then went for high-risk attacks. Luchasaurus goozled him. When Limelight flipped out of another chokeslam, Luchasaurus was ready to knee him in the mush. Jurassic Express took care of Navarro with a teamwork stunner and finished Limelight with a powerbomb combo.
Frankie Kazarian defeated Ryzin. Kaz used his veteran savvy to overcome. He got his knees up on a springboard moonsault then pounced for a reverse DDT to win.
After the match, Dasha Gonzalez interviewed Kaz. TH2 jumped him from behind. Jack Evans cackled on the mic while Angelico cranked Kaz. Christopher Daniels made the save and hit Angel’s Wings on Evans. CD taunted TH2 on the mic.
Ricky Starks defeated Dave Dutra. The newcomer had a neat Barbarian outfit with a weapon in tow. Starks took care of business with a fierce attitude. He ended it with a spear and Rochambeau.
Griff Garrison & Brian Pillman Jr. defeated Sean Maluta & Alex Chamberlain. The blondes split a share of the winner’s purse with a teamwork Hart Attack springboard clothesline.
After the match, Lancer Archer beat everybody up. He is going to rage on whoever is the champ between Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston coming out of Full Gear.
Max Caster & Anthony Bowens defeated Aaron Solow & Angel Fashion. Caster rapped about two generic guys with no appeal when referring to his opponents. Bowens and Caster worked more fluid as a team and took control with a combo cutter for victory.
5 defeated VSK. 10 was ringside. 5 utilized the unusual tactic of untying VSK’s boot to gain an edge. 5 cleaned up with a dope hook kick, a clothesline onto the apron, and a wing snapper.
Pretty. Peter Avalon was given a reboot as “Pretty” Peter Avalon. His vignette began opening the door to his shack of seduction while wearing a red robe with sexy sax music in the background. Avalon was interviewing a lady to be his manager. She ended up slapping him.
Butcher & Blade defeated Jersey Muscle. The meat men swarmed the ring to manhandle the competition. Bunny got involved by grabbing a foot on the top turnbuckle, even though, her assistance was not needed. B&B won via hanging powerbomb neckbreaker combo.
After the match, the Natural Nightmares came out looking for a rumble. Boom, boom, boom went the fists. Allie still had enough sway over QT Marshall to distract him. Referees broke up the brawl.
Hobbs defeated D3. Squash with an Oklahoma Stampede into the turnbuckles followed by a powerslam.
After the match, Ricky Starks suckered Hobbs into an attack from Brian Cage. Darby Allin made the save with a skateboard deck.
Evil Uno & Stu Grayson defeated Baron Black & Nick Comoroto. Uno was the weak link getting beat up and not being on the apron for tags. Grayson took over in the end with a torture rack backbreaker. Dark Order pulled out Fatality for victory.
John Silver, Colt Cabana, & 10 defeated Shawn Dean, Fuego Del Sol, & Cezar Bononi. Silver challenged the much taller Bononi to slam him. It was a ruse for 10 to attack, so Silver could slam Bononi. 10 was the key to success with a spear to Bononi and a spinebuster to Fuego. Silver closed it out with an airplane spin slam to Fuego.
KiLynn King defeated Lei’d Tapa. Tapa was the more powerful of the two ladies, but King was more nimble. King slammed Tapa into the ropes then attacked with a big clothesline. A flying splash gave King her first taste of success in AEW.
Private Party defeated Chaos Project. Commentary made a point to notice Kaz scouting the match. Chaos Project had a unique cheat tactic when Luther distracted the referee so Serpentico could blast streamers into the face of Isiah Kassidy. Private Party prevailed in the end with Gin & Juice.
Sammy Guevara defeated Lee Johnson. Sammy picked Johnson apart then showboated to rub it in. Johnson had a minor spurt with a missile dropkick and a twisting leap over the ropes to the outside. Sammy regained control with a blindside knee strike. Sammy connected on a GTH knee strike then sent a message to Matt Hardy with the Twist of Fate to finish it.
I don’t have much to say this week, so allow me to rattle off some musings.
My favorite moves were Luchasaurus’ knee strike on the chokeslam escape, 5’s wicked hook kick, and Sammy Guevara’s blindside knee.
Ricky Starks and Butcher & Blade are the best at these showcase bouts. They command attention through style, in Starks’ case, and bludgeoning, in the case of Butcher & Blade. Nick Comoroto should join the Dark Order. He would win best hair over Alex Reynolds and win most surly over Stu Grayson. I’m all aboard for sleazebag Peter Avalon. Red Velvet and Brandi Rhodes looked good as a team for the first time. They have potential to be entertaining as a duo. Likewise for Max Caster and Anthony Bowens. In fact, their win foretold positive news to come. They are now All Elite.
Share your thoughts on Dark. Who stood out most for episode 59?