Give Us A Sumo Monster Truck Match To Salvage Omega’s Explosion Dud (www.cagesideseats.com)

Manolo Has Pizzazz

The exploding barbed wire deathmatch between Kenny Omega and Jon Moxley at AEW’s Revolution PPV has come and gone. There were blood, sweat, tears, and a ring that did not explode. Omega is still the AEW World Champion, while Moxley still has enough life left to continue the chase.

One of the assumptions going into the deathmatch was that Moxley needed a way out to explain an absence from television as he tends to his pregnant wife, Renee Paquette, and their future newborn baby. Thanks to a dud explosion at the end of the PPV main event, Moxley remains standing. Now, AEW has to go back to the drawing board to write a story for Moxley’s potential time off.

The concept for an exploding barbed wire deathmatch was madness, but where do you go from there to top the insanity? Let’s have some fun and devise foolproof scenarios to keep the Lunatic Fringe on the fringe of AEW programming. AEW has shown that they aren’t afraid to get crazy and wacky with callbacks to wrestling history, so let’s lean into those elements.

My first proposal is the vaunted sumo monster truck match on a high-rise rooftop. This level of danger has only been attempted once before when Hulk Hogan outmaneuvered the Giant (Paul Wight) behind the wheel. Fisticuffs ensued and Giant fell off the building. The same fate for Moxley would buy him all the time he needs. The sumo truck fight even had explosive charges within the circle, so that would fit right into the story with Omega and Mox.

My next idea is Three Stages of Hell. The Good Brothers cost Moxley the deathmatch victory, so they would be involved in this go-around. The first stage would be a bathroom fight with Luke Gallows. It has been documented on Being the Elite that Gallows prefers to enjoy a session of jerking the turkey before live television. TNT’s standards and practices likely would not allow such a competition, so we’ll have to settle for a nice old-fashioned bathroom brawl.

The next stage would revolve around Karl Anderson’s fondness for booze. Jon Moxley is no stranger to alcohol, as evidenced by swigging a flask to settle the nerves prior to the exploding barbed wire deathmatch. I’m envisioning some sort of drunken master fight.

The boss level would obviously involve Omega. One of his passions is video games. I propose an arcade venue that has a house of mirrors. Why would there be a house of mirrors? Well, Omega needs mirrors to admire his sassy fashion boots from all angles. He could retreat to the reflective glass house and have a fight in the vein of Bruce Lee versus Han Man in Enter the Dragon or Conan versus that ginger wizard in Conan the Destroyer. Of course, Moxley would have to lose this round instead of prevailing as the hero.

The final idea in this exercise of absurdity is Omega and Moxley meeting on the Canadian tundra in Winnipeg for a jousting match. Instead of horses, they would ride moose. There would also be rocket launchers strapped to the moose.

Or perhaps AEW could go the more traditional route of having Omega and the Good Brothers run down Moxley with a car. That would be a tried and true method used by Eddie Gilbert and Jerry Lawlor. There is also the standard Four Horsemen tactic of breaking arms, like they did to Dusty Rhodes.

Assuming Moxley needs time off, what ideas would you like to see play out to explain his absence?